An Open Letter to Rupert Murdoch

I begin with a question, Rupert. Why are rich people so bloody dumb? As much as I personally hate to kick a fella when he’s down, I have no sympathy for you. I watched Citizen Kane, a movie about another narcissistic newspaper bloke who loved to be the king maker, the master manipulator, but in the end he was merely a child lacking a north star, just like you.

The war is not over, and the oncoming final frays will dissolve your legacy. You decided to take a “silver spoon in the mouth” con man from New York and make him the most powerful guy in the world, and what did that get you? There is not one drop of respect in my keyboard for you old wrinkled-up ‘roo. If this was a different time in space, maybe back in the days of yellow journalism, we would deport your Aussie ass and broke dick family back to the land down under and forever ban you all from our shores. Sadly, we don’t do such things. You have your money and our door is wide open, but know that this man thinks you a fool.

When the 2020 election was over, you and your merry gang of lacky journalistic thugs, deceitful hypocrites and shallow swindlers should have moved on and pushed your daily doses of demonic hate toward something else. Perhaps you could have sold your sister to a fire breathing dragon just so you could televise her being swallowed whole. The commercials would have been plentiful, you would have made a ton of dough but claimed someone else was in charge. You see, Rupie, you are the one without a soul — small and in charge.

Man, Donald John Trump almost cost you over a billion dollars. After your death and the succession is afoot, your lucky sperm offspring will fight over the carcass known as Fox News, but still be paying those people you hurt. You are a fucking asshole, Murdoch, and no true American gives a shit about you. I have no malice in my heart; it’s just that I don’t like you.

We wanted to see a trial so we could watch you and those little millionaire crisis actors you call news anchors squirm on the stand. Alas, you protected them from any accountability. Your minions will read your prepared statement and continue making America a little less great every day, just as you have done ever since you launched Fox News on the air.

You might say I am being mean and vindictive, but I have always felt that powerful people who misuse the fifth estate are nothing but flesh-eating scum. You are like a virus using your wad of gangster cash to eat into our souls. The sick reality is you will never believe you did anything wrong. It takes a truly worthless piece of shit like you to wake up every day, plotting ways to pull America so far to the right that your viewers become consumed with hate. And you do all this for what? Oh yeah, more money, you greedy little prick.

I know you will never go to heaven and, unfortunately, I am sure you are also not destined to burn in hell. Those places are just myths the News Corporation and Fox News promote to keep your small-minded audience on their electronic walking leashes. You made your way to the land of milk and honey for money and power but lacking any true respect for our culture. Despite your citizen card, you will never be a true American. You are nothing but a carpetbagger of epic proportions. Even your dingleberries are ashamed of their attachment to you.

All those disposable wives were there only to use your money and power, not because of your charming personality and “good looks.” And in the end, as the small snow sled named Rosebud burns in the fire of your own making, know that you picked the wrong horse and understand what it cost you. You didn’t want to disappoint your audience by telling them the truth, so you promoted the lies of a deranged orange windbag. Have you no decency Mr. Murdoch?

I am sure you will continue to let your overpaid prima donnas destroy America as they continuously lie about so many other issues. If I were the judge, I would have stripped the word “News” from the Fox brand and made you admit and apologize for your lies twice every hour over the course of a week.

You are an unbalanced billionaire and a lowlife grifter. Had you been living back in colonial times, we would have made you dress up in a clown suit and walk the streets in oversized shoes with a nail-stick to pick up the garbage. Your kids are itsy-bitsy little spiders, ready to inject their venom into the next victim. Oh, the web they will weave after you are gone. You’ve taught them to be thieves, liars and losers, just like you.

In the end, I keep asking, “Why are rich people so bloody dumb?”

Have a lovely day, mate.